Is it time? or busyness that moves me one step forward from the loss?
I still speak everything as "we" but that's to be expected. Is it finally dawning on me that I will be continuing so "Pull up your socks, Ms. Page!!" as my Aunt Lou used to say??
The visitation, for those of you who couldn't come, was a perfect mix of music, food, pictures deep and funny and, of course, amazing people, from near and far, in miles and relationships.
I read all the cards that night, but am embarrassed to say that it wasn't til 2/3rds of the way through that I realized that the $ was getting separated from the cards. What an odd and wonderful tradition the gifts are, it's not so much a New England custom, but it feels so, so, that the community is helping to carry the cost of burying him, And I am grateful for that help. Just cremation was so much more than either of us expected. (but hey, what did we know?and never asked?)
The messages in the cards were dear and the food, great. Whomever made the marzipan bars and the nut macaroon bars, I want the recipes! and the chicken soup from my ex who never used to like to cook. It's a sign that people grow on. Perhaps I'll love to chainsaw.
Anything is possible, kind of like the Dr Seuss book "McElligets Pool" (If you don't know it, you should, with or without kids!)
Gil's bother Bob leaves today, Chris next week. It's the start of the next step.
A week ago he was still alive.
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