Better

He's better; the pneumonia is starting to clear. The mouth sores are still awful and the weird way the doxol messes up his taste buds, but no fevers and his immune system is starting to show signs of life. So he'll be heading home on Thursday night, barring any new bump in the road.

And I'm feeling more alive.

A friend came and spent the day with me reconnecting goat fencing and starting to clear the porch so we can set up the glider and Gil can sit looking out our field. It was so satisfying getting something done! And though I have no idea how the Spring will unfold, I can feel it coming.

Here's another poem a friend reminded me of which seems to capture my learning of the other night.

Zero Circle

by Rumi

Be helpless, dumbfounded,
Unable to say yes or no.
Then a stretcher will come from grace
to gather us up.

We are too dull-eyed to see that beauty.
If we say we can, we're lying.
If we say No, we don't see it,
That No will behead us
And shut tight our window onto spirit.

So let us rather not be sure of anything,
Beside ourselves, and only that, so
Miraculous beings come running to help.
Crazed, lying in a zero circle, mute,
We shall be saying finally,
With tremendous eloquence, Lead us.
When we have totally surrendered to that beauty,
We shall be a mighty kindness.