And more of who I am

 I’m 76 years old and I think out loud.  WhenI find myself orbiting a sense of something I want to communicate, it often takes several go rounds to become clear.  Which means I talk a lot.  I’ve been embarrassed about this tendency all my life, from back in the days of “Chatty Cathy” to now when in my exuberance following an idea i cut off people and don’t leave any oxygen in the room for others to speak.  I struggle with it. I try to pause. If I catch that I interrupted as someone was starting to say, I stop say “go on”.   But the truth is  I talk a lot.   And it’s part of who I am for good or for ill.   I love the taste of words, finding the cleanest clearest way to communicate , particularly if it’s a subtle fragile idea and hard to grasp.  I’m a translator too.  I’m good at explaining things across perspectives, like helping liberals hear conservatives or adults, kids.   I used to call it articulating the in articulable      I still try to mitigate the harm my uncontrolled wordiness can do but also forgive myself and value my gift with communication.  At 76 it’s unlikely to change.   But it’s also a tool I can use  and perhaps if I can overcome my resistance to writing, it may be a gift I can give