Getting ready

I'm getting ready for the party
and for guests who are coming
getting ready for a mortgage appraiser to say what our house is worth
I'm getting ready to start exercising and losing weight, learning a new relationship to my body, my only true responsibility right now
I'm getting ready to get my financial house in order, and to do my 2011 postponed taxes, to figure out if I can live on my retirement or will I need to use savings or go back to work.
I'm getting ready
to think and write and explore what's important about my living my life, to me
Perhaps mostly, I'm waiting like Ferlingetti in Coney Island of the Mind,
waiting for my rebirth of wonder
I have days of dry busyness
dreams where I'm hoping, searching for contact
wondering is it possible?
I'm in Limbo, not quite here or there, somewhere else instead
I'm waiting, getting ready for the next phase, the next step, the next "right thing"
but loath to leave the "vale of tears"
I know I have a precious resource, me, my mind, my body my idiosyncratic way of being and digesting my experience.
but I'm still just getting ready, I'm not there yet
waiting
waiting
for the rebirth of my wonder