Tuesday, October 23, 2012

It's Gil's Birthday today

And my dad seems to be dying, and the election is too unbearably anxiety producing,  and I'm coming to the end of the first phase of grieving, facing whatever is next.
Anniversaries sort of skip me back in time though at a new octave.  I remember all the different Birthday celebrations I did for him over the years.  The octave change is that there is only remembering now, no new memories will form.  And I need to keep moving forward.
That's  why it was so hard the other night.  I hate feeling that way, and almost went back and deleted that post, so I wouldn't have to remember myself in that whinny phase.  But it's part of the process, and if this writing is any good for me or you it needs to be real not pretty. 

I am learning, growing but it's not linear.  I need to remember that.  I also need to remember to, as my beloved Aunt Lou used to say to herself,
"Pull up your socks, Ms. Page!!"

1 comment:

Unknown said...

In his honor we ate Chinese since the Cuban place closed and had orange Ice-cream since we couldn't get orange custard chocolate chip out here.