Orpheus

I've used the metaphor a lot in my blog over the years since Gi's death, but now it may be more useful than ever. 
I've been stirring up sludge.  What I understand of the Lyme process I'm going through is I stir up bio film where the bad guys hang out and then flush them.  It involves times where I feel like crap; I'm in one of those now.   I was feeling pretty good for a couple of months, and have slipped into a crash and burn body moment.   
Ah  but here's were the metaphor may be most useful,  it's the soul demons that are stirred up too which make this an epic struggle.   Doubt, fear, desire, neediness, fear, grief,       fear.   I've done a pretty good job dealing with the the surface of all of these over the years, thought I'd really done a good job of grieving.   But now the deep stuff has been stirred up   and  boy is it dark in here!

Orpheus descended into Hell to find his beloved Eurydice, his Soul mate  and bring her back into the land of the living.  He had his music, which could make the animals stop still to listen, and advise on how to proceed, "don't look back, have faith and keep your eyes on the Life you're returning to".

So  I'm conversing with fear,  and  desire,   and loss, loss, loss.    And not trying to appease and dismiss them, move on to more pleasant subjects.  I'm hanging out in the darkness and getting wet.  Not sure if I'll be able to bring my Life Force, my creative energy back to the surface of my life.  But I've felt half buried since Gil died.  Perhaps this is the time to stir the sludge. 
It reminds me of a Sappho poem I encountered as a teen "If you are squeamish, don't prod the beach rubble"   I've always been a prodder and not too squeamish.
Perhaps it's time to crank my music!!!